The journey is unplanned. It shapes souls and lives in unfathomable ways. The journey is a common one, but you will not likely see photos or videos that highlight the high points, because there are not any. At least not at the beginning.
The journey I to which I refer is the one through grief. It’s a hard slog. It’s exhausting. It’s daunting. It’s never truly over, for we always grieve those we love and lose. Grief is life changing, and, at times, in positive ways. It can bring a new circle of friends. It can create an opportunity to redefine who you are now. It can be the motivator to rejig priorities and motivations. It can redirect your life in a positive way. Such has been the case for me.
Grievers begin to emerge from the dark shadows that envelop them as they proceed on their course through uncharted waters to an unknown destination. For many, the horizon does begin to brighten, if ever so slightly, as they move away from the freshness of loss.
I remember saying at a funeral for a young adult that the experience of losing her might just be the catalyst for someone present to become a better version of themselves. I can attest to the fact that losing a loved one can have that effect. When I was nineteen, I experienced the death of a person with whom I had grown into adulthood. It was jarring. It was horrid. It was maddening. I wanted to escape the pain, so I did everything I could to escape, but the pain followed me no matter how hard I tried to run from it.
I took a couple of years to investigate the meaning of life from different angles. I began to ask big questions: Why am I here? What is life really about? What about death? Does everyone have a best-before date? Is there life beyond death? What is it like?
During the course of my inquiry, I began to realize that life in general, and my life in particular, is a gift from God – a very precious and fragile gift. Furthermore, I came to understand that God allows me to live life on whatever terms I choose. I came to the realization that God is gracious and forces nothing on us, but gives us total freedom to accept what He offers, or not. I came to understand and believe that Jesus really is who he says he is. I began to see the Scriptures as truth, which gave me a compass to help keep me on course to a dynamic, fulfilled life. Eventually, I committed my way to the LORD and my life took on a very different purpose.
I would be lying if I said that I never had a struggle after that. But life has been meaningful and fulfilling for me ever since. Though the catalyst for my walk with the LORD was an incredibly deep grief, my life is much richer and fuller now than it ever would have been otherwise. God used my experience of grief as a young adult to change my life for the better; it was the catalyst for me to change course. Grief helped me find a perspective on life and death. I now see life – every single life - as an incredibly precious and fragile gift. I see every breath I take as a gift from God and I see death as the gateway to complete and utter joy in the presence of the LORD. Jesus paid a great price for me and for you. He desires that we experience the fullness of joy as we live life and that we have secure hope as we approach death.
There is choice involved here. We can choose to accept a perspective that offers us hope in the face of life’s hurdles, including grief, or not. As a young adult faced with grief, I chose to see life as a precious gift and death as a continuation of the fellowship I enjoy with my Lord here and now. That perspective has been my pathway through grief, and through life. I pray the same for you.
-Mark Buell
I am the incredibly blessed father of the four gifted women who dreamed this blog into being. My prayer is that God might use my story to bring you encouragement and hope, especially if you are grieving. Enjoy the gift of your next breath!
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